Just so you know, an octopus is an alien and what happened was an alien egg hitched onto a Tardigrade and that Tardigrade came into our dimension and started eating on some grass and fell into the ocean and then that octopus alien egg hatched and now we have octopuses here. But they’re ultimately always trying to get back to their dimension. They’re stuck here in this world purgatory and it’s really sad. Unfortunately we can’t figure out which dimension they’re from and which planet they’re from to get them back. We’ve been communicating with them, we’ve been using dolphins as interpreters to try and understand what their planet looked like, what their planet sounded like, what star system it’s in, but there is just so many disconnects and there is so many light years of technology that we don’t have that it’s going to take a while for us to get octopuses back to their planet. We’re doing our best. It is an absolute top issue and we’re here with you octopi. Sorry so many people eat you. I think that’s super messed up.

Product Information: Behold yon splendid trinket of autumnal cheer—a flat wooden pumpkin ornament, rendered with the artistry of acrylic paint and the finesse of colored pencil. This humble bauble, shaped like the jolly gourd of harvest season, doth boast vibrant hues of orange and verdant green, as if kissed by the fairies themselves. The charming visage of the pumpkin is brought to life with whimsical swirls and delicate strokes, reminiscent of the handcraft of skilled scribes of yore. Perfect for adorning thine hearth or hanging with merry pride upon thy festooned chamber wall!

• PLEASE DON'T PUT THIS OUTSIDE IT WILL GET GROSS