Scud owns a fleet of lobster boats off the Maine coast. It’s cold, and wet, and he smells like fish 24/7, but it’s honest work and he has a six pack so it ain’t that bad.

Product Information: Behold yon splendid trinket of autumnal cheer—a flat wooden pumpkin ornament, rendered with the artistry of acrylic paint and the finesse of colored pencil. This humble bauble, shaped like the jolly gourd of harvest season, doth boast vibrant hues of orange and verdant green, as if kissed by the fairies themselves. The charming visage of the pumpkin is brought to life with whimsical swirls and delicate strokes, reminiscent of the handcraft of skilled scribes of yore. Perfect for adorning thine hearth or hanging with merry pride upon thy festooned chamber wall!

• PLEASE DON'T PUT THIS OUTSIDE IT WILL GET GROSS